Violence is NEVER the answer!

I'm against the war. I'm not overly political or religious & I don't label myself as a liberal although my views are considered far from traditionalist conservatism. I oppose war due to the fact that so many innocent people die. Any life lost is a tragedy no matter how despicable the crime or the perpetrator simply because everyone, whether idiot or saint, has someone who suffers when they die. Having said that, I understand the position of sacrificing one life in order to save thousands as in the case of the 911 terrorists. Unfortunate but necessary.

Another act of violence which disturbs & infuriates me is domestic (click on the above pic to view the cycle in its many forms). Every 10 seconds a woman is abused at the hands of her partner. The act of violence in itself is an issue of control & beating a woman is undoubtedly an issue of control fueled by insecurity. To feel so insecure in your ability to maintain your relationship that you have to succumb to violence is PATHETIC. When I recently heard about THIS STORY, I was sickened by the fact that a grown ass man would force his 13 year old son to videotape him verbally assaulting his wife before smacking her, throwing her to the floor and kicking her.

The assault resulted in 51 minutes of footage. Later that evening, the husband/father played the tape for his three kids to demonstrate why he beat their mother. He paused the tape several times to highlight moments where their mother pissed him off to the point of violence, which righteously justified the swollen bruises on her face & body! By doing so, he felt he was "educating" his kids, I guess.

In addition to the beatings, which unlike many abusive relationships, started almost a decade into the marriage, his wife was "timed" on how long it took her to return home after leaving work. She was also ordered to call her husband "master". She was slowly alienated from her friends & family. Fortunately, she had a concerned boss who kept detailed notes of each time she saw bruises on Susan and eventually helped her leave this arrogant, madman. The abusive asshole was eventually sentenced to 36 years in prison, which is the longest sentencing in New York history for domestic-violence in which the victim was not killed.

To date, the wife focuses on spreading domestic-violence awareness by presenting the video at police academies in order to put a personal face on this epidemic.

As I watched the footage of abuse, I noticed the son often turned the camera away from his parents at the exact moment his father slapped or kicked his mom. I could only imagine what must've been going through his young mind. Those images will never leave him, that's for sure.

It also saddens me to know that had the tape not existed, had her boss been less observant or concerned for her employee's life, Susan may not be here today. Her three children would most likely be parentless with a past filled with haunting memories of violence that lead to their mother's demise and a future dark with uncertainty. Not to mention, the extreme possibility that they too may repeat the cyle of either abusing or being a victim of abuse at some point in their lives.

I honestly don't think there's a single American family that has not been affected by domestic violence at some point in its history. We all have an aunt, cousin, parent, or distant relative who has been a victim of this senseless, controlling act brewed from insecurity. Whether it's talked about, swept under the rug or addressed head-on is the issue. It's such a touchy subject because intervening can be dangerous especially when so many women refuse to leave.

"Domestic violence does not only happen to adults. Forty percent of girls age 14 to 17 report knowing someone their age who has been hit or beaten by a boyfriend, and approximately one in five female high school students reports being physically and/or sexually abused by a dating partner".

Fortunately, my mother raised my sister and me (yes, that's grammatically correct) with a strong sense of self. I think that's important for every young woman to have. If you don't develop a sense of moral values as a young woman, you run the risk of leaving yourself open to being treated like shit as an adult.

I talk to my younger cousins & nieces all the time about the importance of respecting themselves and having self-esteem. If you don't know who you are and what's important to you, it's easy to find a chauvinistic man-child more than happy to provide you with that definition in the form of degradation, disrespect and abuse.

Remember the ole' saying, "If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything." Well, it's a fact and it's up to adults to educate the youth on respect for self as well as others. The state of our future depends on it!

This post is long enough as it is but I could say more about the legal system & how the laws against Domestic Violence are not strong enough. THE LAWS TO PROTECT WOMEN WHO LIVE AT THE HANDS OF AN ABUSER ARE NOT STRONG ENOUGH!! She basically has to be killed in order for a justifiable punishment to take place which further explains why so many victims are afraid to leave. Many abused women are so cut-off from a support system that they have nowhere to turn and with the justice system failing to provide a way out; they stay & continue to endure the abuse which will only intensify if she attempts to call the police for help. After the abuser is arrested and forced to spend 1 measly night in jail, what do you think will happen when he returns to the home that she can't afford to leave considering she had only one night to plan her permanent escape? C'mon now, she'll endure the beating of her life on top of the previous beating that lead to his arrest the day before.

The laws need to change, but with so many career politicians on their own agenda of false promises, corrupt politicking and lashing out at their opponents in an ugly merry-go-round of the "blame game", who has the time to tend to the REAL matters at hand? Our world is in so much trouble . . . but that's a topic for another day.

If you or someone you know is involved in a domestic violence relationship, or if you want to learn more about it, please call The National Domestic Violence Hotline, open 24-hours a day, at 1-800-799-SAFE or click here

I promise to return soon with something a lil less heavy. I just needed to scribe about this here topic, because in a less politically correct manner - thiz bullshit really pisses me off!

I leave you with these:

Quotes of the day:

Violence is the last refuge of the incompetent.
Salvor Hardin

So, these political activities will create friction in and of themselves, and in this environment of friction there'll be additional violence.
John Abizaid

Chow